My Maurice Jones-Drew Blog

The Draft can be intense, grueling, and a little intimidating at times. But there are always multiple opportunities to harass your friends and co-owners over some draft day mistake they make. Just make sure you do not commit one of these very common, almost inevitable Draft Day Blunders. Someone will almost certainly pull off the following bloopers.

Here we go, in no particular order. Someone will ...

draft a player who has retired. (Years ago we had two guys fighting over Barry Sanders TWO YEARS AFTER he retired because they heard some ridiculous rumor.) unknowingly draft a player who is seriously injured. (If you read my other articles, you know that I did that my rookie year in a league many moons ago. Oh well, it happens to us all.) draft a QB RB and WR from the same team. (Don't you just love these morons?) take the maximum amount of time to make a selection in the first round. (I realize you have only had 6 months to prepare, so by all means, take your time. After all, I know your first round pick is a difficult decision.) show up late for the draft, hungover, with zero research, and draft a monster team. (I hate these guys. It is easier to hit the lottery 3 times in a row, but there is someone every year that accomplishes this.) draft players according to their abilities in some scoring system that exists only in their head, vehemently deny they were ever told the rules, complain when someone reminds them they wasted a pick, or picks, and cry allll yeearrr looonnnggg. (Nothing needs to be said here. You know who you are.) not take notes, not look at the draft board, and REPEATEDLY try to draft players that were taken rounds earlier. (This has got to be my pet peeve; these guys are usually blistered drunk by round three. Do they honestly think Terrell Owens is still available in Round 6?) mispronounce every player's name that they utter. (I realize Houshmandzadeh is a mouthful, but you hear it pronounced by sportscasters all the time. And the Chicago RB's name is pronounced "Matt For-tay" not "Matt 40", LT is not LanDainlium, and Maurice Jones-Drew's full name is NOT "Drew Jones, that guy for Jacksonville.") show up with no money, bring no food, (we always bring a covered dish each) bum beer from everyone, blow smoke in your face from borrowed cigarettes, borrow your cheat sheets and research (and then lose them) because $8 is evidently more than they could save up in six months to buy a guide, and generally attempt with every opening of their pie hole to prove themselves a bigger idiot than they were 10 minutes ago. (Don't be that guy. Really.) pay for their smoking hot girlfriend to play, and then spend the entire day picking for her. (No conflict of interest here, huh?)

These by no means are the only faux-pas committed on Draft Day, but are some of the more memorable.
If you would like to share some draft day horror stories with me, I will be sure to use them in future articles. Just contact me at the Email address below. Good luck on draft day, and remember, don't be that guy.